The Struggle continues...

Blog...a thing that can hold words. Much like my mind and my heart. Except the mind and heart hold on to much more than that. Both hold the words we say and the words we hear, even the words we read. They also hold the actions. Actions of our own and the actions of others. It would seem too that our minds remember the actions while the heart remembers the words.
Words are often softly spoken promises or maybe loudly proclaimed declarations. Sometimes they are whispers of sadness or rants of hurt. Either way, our heart will remember those much more then actions it seems. We hold on to the words we have said or the ones we hear and our heart covets them and lets them bring us hope or helps us remember how we felt. That is how our heart can be deceiving. Our minds, however remember the actions we play out, the actions we see from others. Together, they mold us into the people we are. They steer down the paths we must choose to go down. Some of us follow our heart, while some of us follow our mind.
I'm not sure what to follow. My heart always seems to make the wrong decisions. My mind is calculating, but that has left me lonely.
Words I've said have not proven to be acceptable by the people I want to accept them. But then the words I've left unspoken for so long seem like they could be life-changing...that is, until I've said them, then I'm back to the previous dilemma.
That is why so often I choose others actions or reactions to guide my actions. Because too many times people don't mean what they say, hell, sometimes I don't mean what I say. But our choices and actions speak volumes, don't they.

Blogs...who reads these things anyway? Probably not the people we really wished would, right?