Well, I attended the nurse meeting last night and it was very good. The chairman was very helpful and insightful. She went over how the program worked and what kind of hours we'd be required to put in and such. This college has a 98% pass rate for the Board of Nursing. That's awesome! Told the end of the session, the director who has been an LVN for 15 years now after 20 years of being an Office Manager, said to us, "If you are changing careers or considering this one for the money, don't waste your time. You will love the pay, but you will be miserable." Now, while I know I would enjoy working with the children eventually after the schooling, my first thought, was..okay then...that's it, I'm not going to do it. And for once, I'm listening to my first instincts. I'm not going to be a nurse. Even if I did do it, it'd have to wait until next year at the least.
For the first time, I can say that, I really enjoy my job. The pay isn't all that great, but that will change over time I'm sure. After I'm done with this semester and I've walked across the stage and received that diploma...I'm going to take a break! Focus on me, my boys, and put the focus on them for a while. In the last few years, I've been trying to improve myself...on paper. Now, it's time to start in real life. Put all those lists I've been making into action.
I sat in a cell for a little over a year, planning how things would be when I got home. I had it all worked out..on paper. Then, I came home and things just didn't go as planned. I stepped back into my old ways of trying to work for as much money as possible, always looking for the bigger, better deal. I've forgotten that kind of mentality put me where I was. And I haven't given myself a chance to appreciate what I do have.
So, for me, last night, not only did I learn that I wasn't going to be a nurse; I learned that I was going to be....me. I don't know what or who that is just yet, even though I'm supposed to be helping to young boys realize who they are...I guess we'll all find out together. When I talked to them last night about this and the changes that will come, my oldest just said, "Mom, it's okay if you want to be someone else, I feel that way sometimes too. But you said I can be whoever I want to be, so why don't you just do that. Just be whoever you want to be. Me and Bubba will love you too."
That did it for me...so here's to Whoever I Want To Be....off I go!
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Wow, love it girlfriend! Life is hard and making big choices is so hard and you have the right idea...let life take you where it will. Besides that, my smart godson gave you the best advice! I miss you and wish that we lived in the same state at least, but I have thought about you alot these past few weeks. We will all be fine! We just have to keep on keepin on and keep supporting each other!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you for making that decision, for making a decision and sticking with it. And I'm glad you see what I see now - the Carlena that has gone back to her old ways. I pray that you will find yourself in all this. And I hope it's that beaming, beautiful and happy girl I got a glimpse of when you left that cell.
ReplyDeleteI love you, my friend!